Sunday, October 13, 2013

The Fall of the Tribe of Hotty Toddy

And there arose to the north of Eden a tribe called the Hotty-Toddys, who were also called metros. And the Hotty-Toddys were very displeasing; they didst place centerpieces on their banquet tables, and didst exalt themselves much. And they didst glorify the southern kingdom of the past.

And for a brief time they didst enjoy success on the battlefield. But in the second year of the reign of John son of Joseph, a man named James, of the house of Meredith, of the nation of Cush, didst attempt to enter the seminary at Oxford. But the Hotty-Toddys despised and oppressed the Cush-ites, and refused him entry. But the Judges decreed that James must be allowed to enter. And the Hotty-Toddys rose up with great vengeance and furious anger, and didst burn their own city, and even slew two aliens in their midst. And the LORD saw that it was no good, and was much angered, and uttered a curse upon the Hotty-Toddys:

"THOU SHALT TASTE VICTORY ONCE MORE, THEN NEVER AGAIN SHALL THOU BE FIRST AMONG THY BRETHREN"

And after the following harvest, they didst enjoy their last great victory, then their warriors became lost in the wilderness. And a man named Elisha, who was also called Archie, didst attempt to lead them back to glory, but was wounded in the land of Eden and tasted not the fruits of victory. Then a great famine fell upon Oxford, until Eli son of Archie arrived upon a white horse. Eli led the Hotty-Toddys to many small victories, and girded his loins against an invasion by the warriors from Eden.

But Eli fell backwards*. And a great roar arose, and Johnny of the house of Vaught, the great king of the Hotty-Toddy past, didst ask "What be the meaning of this tumult?" For Johnny was a very old man, 93, and nearly blind. And the Hotty-Toddys cried in despair, "The invaders from Eden hath carried off the West championship! Our curse is still upon us, and the Heisman shall never come to the house of Manning."

And the LORD then caused a great delusion to fall upon the tribe of Hotty-Toddy, and they drove their general David from their midst, even though David had led them to victories for the first time in forty years. And they chose a recruiter of warriors from a western land, Bay Bay of the house of Yawyawyawyaw, because their delusion kept them from seeing he was a fool. And Bay Bay disdt tear his garments, and shout words none could understand. And the LORD loosed against the Hotty-Toddys bands of Cowboys, and Bulldogs, and even Commodores, who laid waste to Oxford. And the Hotty-Toddys continued to exalt Bay Bay, even as half his warriors disappeared from Oxford, and rued the days of Cutcliffe. And finally Les of Eden came to Oxford and destroyed it once and for all
1 Samuel 4:3.  


Then there arose a false prophet from the House of Nutt. Although he was cast out by swine, the faithful's hope was restored as he trampled the Tiger,  vanquished the Raiders of Red, and slew the Cowboy in the House of Jerry.  There was much feasting as milk and honey flowed from the rivers of the  Delta to the lands of Elvis.  However, more sorrow smote the tribe as the prophet's promises proved false when the curse struck him with a madness that left him speechless and confused.  The prophet wandered at times on sidelines alone, quiet at times, babbling at others, while the faithful said oh no, we've been cursed yet again.  However, Les of Eden was not without mercy as he was indeed a just man and knelt to end the game.  1 Samuel 4:4.  

Yeah, I know. LSU has one loss and Ole Miss lost three games. This IS LSU-Ole Miss. The series is also a tough one from the LSU side. Don't believe me?

2001: Ole Miss win.
2002: LSU by 1.
2003: LSU by 3
2004: LSU by 3 despite a record-setting rushing performance by Broussard.
2005: LSU blowout because Ole Miss quits on Orgeron.
2006: LSU in OT
2007: LSU comes back in fourth quarter
2008: Ole Miss ass-kicking
2009: Les Miles can't tell time.
2010: LSU wins at the end of the game.

2011: The knee game.
2012: LSU needs 4th quarter comeback to win game.  

Then there is Les Miles yesterday:

19 comments:

Anonymous said...

Your colors celebrate the debauchery of a Christian holiday and you smell of bad fair food.

Anonymous said...

you just lost ANOTHER follower with those idiotic comments. get a life, other then cheap gossip and stir-er of the pot

Anonymous said...

@ 1:35; What gossip are you suggesting? The only thing he left out was "And it would come to pass that the chariot from the town of Trailways would appear to whisk away the son of Mrs. Nutt, the elder, and although it would take a year to load his goods into the chariot, he would depart with bags filled with gold and silver and the tribe would forever wonder what had happened."

Anonymous said...

Never gets old.

leigh said...

Seems like a football team that has no in state rivals and double the population would always dominate.

Ha but it's LSU.... enjoy your run. Ole Miss is breathing down your obnoxious neck.

ps. "Go to hell LSU!"

Anonymous said...

4:45 take solace in that half their team can't vote.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Kingfish, this is funny every year !

A new tradition has taken hold, it's like watching "Rudolph" at Christmas, listening to Alice's Restaurant Massacree on Thanksgiving.

Anonymous said...

Earlier manuscripts add:
And, in the year of our Lord one thousand nine hundred and seventy, God called forth an obscure tribe from the Piney Woods to do battle with the Hotty-Toddys. And Elisha, who was also called Archie, looked upon the Piney Woodsmen and taunted them, “Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?” Then the ranks of the Piney Woodsmen parted and there appeared Wee Willie of the House of Heidelburg, the Ethiopian, and entering onto the field of battle he smote the fair-skinned tribe of the Hoddy-Toddys until sundown. And Elisha rent his garments, and darkness covered the land, and panic swept through the streets of Oxford, and Johnny of the House of Vaught took to his bed. And then, after a season of fasting, Johnny rose up from his bed and gathered the elders of Oxford around his feet and proclaimed: “Lets us go forth an embrace the tribe of Cush.”

Anonymous said...

Hail State ! ! ! 3 wins and climbing

Anonymous said...

GEAUX TIGERS!!!!! Love your posts kingfish!

Anonymous said...

Damn!!!! I thought it was spelled Haughty Toddy........

Anonymous said...

At least it's not "Tighty Whitey!"

Anonymous said...

I sure hope they show the good ol' film of the All Time Greatest Punt Return In History during the game again....

THAT's a tradition that I look forward to every year... :-)

Great post Kingfish! Love it!

Anonymous said...

This is beyond hilarious. Living in a land w these Hotty-Totty nitwits - stupid people who somehow have money often - is enough to tax the patience of even Job. Idol worship in spades for these HT fans . That is the curse.And the reason our state is dead last almost in every category .

Anonymous said...

What about the rumble in the Grove between Bryant's Boys? Word is a ruckus occurred between Kirk Sims, Pierce Moore and the often mentioned Josh "show you the money" Gregory. Somebody bitch slapped somebody while they were following Phildo zombie style thru the Grove gladhanding all who would. Even Coasty Scott Walker was in the crowd. Hotty Toddy gosh almighty who the hell are they, to act up in a this totally embarrassing way? A video of the slapdown is out there.

Scantron said...

More to the story in 2003. Best place kicker in the nation misses two FGs, and Ole Miss loses by 3 points to the eventual national champion.

Yep, 2003 Ole Miss kicker Jonathan Nichols hadn't missed a kick of any sort all season, and ended up winning the Lou Groza award for best place-kicker in NCAA football that year. That game, he missed two FGs - and Ole Miss lost by one FG.....to the eventual national champion.

Ole Miss ends up going 7-1 in the SEC, normally enough to get to the conference championship game in Atlanta. LSU also goes 7-1, but because of the head-to-head victory, claims the SEC West's spot in the Atlanta game. And Ole Miss still remains the one team (not counting A&M) from the SEC West who hasn't been to the championship game. Sign....

Anonymous said...

And the Hotty Toddy tribe surprised the Corn Dogs and took away their hopes of being the No. 1 Tribe in the Land....

Anonymous said...

Where is the video

Anonymous said...

Is the video on you tube?



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