Sunday, September 8, 2013

Going to the zoo

There has been a great deal of discussion lately about the zoo. I suspect many of the people making comments haven't been to the zoo in years. Sooo..... Jackson Jambalaya decided to turn on the camcorder and show you exactly what the route to the zoo looks like from both I-220 and downtown Jackson.




I apologize for the resolution. Quite a bit was lost in the upload. I will try to upload again and see if the resolution improves.

57 comments:

Anonymous said...

No brainier. Move the zoo to LeFleurs. End of discussion. .

Anonymous said...

Go to any conversation about an inner city zoo in the south that has been around for awhile and all will talk about the horrible surroundings. Audubon Zoo in New Orleans was losing their accreditation back in the 70s and private and public donations turned it around but the area around it is still not great . Same thing in Memphis. What the zoo needs is improvements not relocation. I will say, I am surprised they think it is worth $15.00 admission. Also, you can get to the zoo via Ellis Avenue and Woodrow Wilson. Again, Kingfish chooses to report with his slanted commentary rather than let the viewer make their own mind.

Anonymous said...

Amazing how much your video looked like similar 'tours' of abandoned areas of Detroit. Then again, Detroit was transformed (in a bad way) by workers who moved there from Mississippi and other Cotton-growing states.

In both Jackson and Detroit, people who could left because others made it simply too dangerous to remain.

And I would point out to 'our' churches that when one demographic group is replaced by another, the new group may not fill up the pews (and the collection plates) as well as did the old group. Churches really would be wise to be less eager to replace their Founding Stock with 'others'.

Detroit, Gary Indiana, and now, apparently, Jackson, have absolutely MAGNIFICENT houses of worship, whose traditional congregants have fled to safer areas - with no influx of 'others' to fill the pews. They sit abandoned.

One would think that when one congregation moves across town (like when a hive of bees flies off to a location with better prospects), another congregation would come to occupy the expensive edifice left behind (What would it cost to replicate those fine churches in your video, today? Forty million? More?).

But that, apparently, is not what happens. It's just too dangerous.

I think about the recent armed robbery of a group in the parking lot of Northminster Baptist (THE elite Baptist church of the entire region). And I wonder if that's how the decline started, for the boarded-up edifice in your video. Is that how 'The Beginning of the End' looks?

A farmer in the Pacific Northwest supplies us with honey. He has hives of docile Italian bees. But he also had three turkeys. One of the hens would park herself in front of one of the hives, and pick off tasty bees as they flew to and from the hive. The farmer thought it was cute. The bees perceived it differently.

Next thing we heard, the whole hive had flown off into the woods, and he couldn't figure out why. I know why, though. Being picked-off, one by one, is not something to be tolerated.

A good Mayor, like a good beekeeper, knows to protect from threats, those who are making the honey.

And until Jacktown does something about the turkeys going around picking-off productive citizens, all talk of 'turn-arounds' and 'comebacks', and 'revivals', and 'resurgence' and 'gentrification' is COMPLETELY POINTLESS.

Anonymous said...

No one along the routes you took care whether the zoo exist or not. Nothing is going to happen to the area without government funding (a handout). I don't know what the solution is, but investing in a black hole is not it. Also, there is no commercial potential, so that pretty well eliminates possibilities. Has is anyone said what the annual number of visitors are, where they come from, and the annual revenue and expenses are? Does relocating it make sense, or even having a zoo?

Anonymous said...

I just got on Google Map/Street View, and 'drove' around on Farish Street. Most of the scary stuff has been demolished. Basically, it's just a wonderland of brick streets and sidewalks (a brick-lover's dreamscape if ever there WAS one...), with a lot of vacant storefronts and salvaged building facades - WAITING FOR SOMETHING TO BE PUT THERE. There's an enormous amount of vacant land immediately adjacent Farish Street.

Personally, I'd use the Farish streetscape for most of the zoo buildings. And the vacant storefronts on the other side would fill up with kid-centered shops and eateries.

There is a VERY limited 'need' for a place to stumble around drunk, while listening to sloppy music which appeals only to self-conscious "intellectuals", in a Reverse Snobbery kind of way. There are only so many Ole Miss frats & suzies, who majored in Journalism.

There is an ENORMOUS need for a fun place to take the kids. We took ours to the French Quarter, Aquarium, Riverfront whatever, Audubon Zoo... in New Orleans. Never even occurred to us to drive to West Jackson. Downtown, though would have been a different matter.

There was a great synergy ongoing, between the 'Family Attractions' and the French Quarter.

And I think Farish Street and the Zoo would be a perfect marriage. The infrastructure is basically there, ALREADY. A GRAND hotel is ALREADY within walking distance. Other major sights are right there.

Most people don't have money to waste sitting in bars, listening to tired music from another era, warmed-over by mediocre 'talents'. People DO find money, however, for doing things with and for their kids.

Why not place the zoo within easy reach of all the buses carrying kids to the Capitol/Capital attractions? Why not have the zoo within minutes of the fairgrounds?

Water and sewer are already there. The land is already FLAT...

Anonymous said...

U Southern Cal's surrounding area is very dangerous. Columbia University in NY is in a very dangerous area. Does that mean those University's are bad? Or does that just mean they are in bad areas and the surrounding locations have zero to do with the product? If people seriously won't go to the zoo because of its locale, then those people are scared of everything. They'd be scared of Lefluers or Madison or anywhere. They are just scared.

Anonymous said...

Move the GD zoo to LeFleurs for crying out loud. Only idiots can't see this.

Anonymous said...

The thing is, 6:40, the redone LeFleur's golf course is one of the few things the city has actually gotten right recently. Why ruin all of that by replacing it with a zoo that nobody gives a shit about?

Anonymous said...

7:01 keep showing your rube, provincial ignorance. Nobody gives a shit about. Right.

You have no clue about the world, do you. NONE. Trailer parks in Pearl are not the answer Bubba.

Anonymous said...

I really am amazed---this is REALLY simple--liquidate EVERYTHING that CAN be liquidated regarding the zoo--it's OVER--we can't afford it--it's just a matter of time

Anonymous said...

Heck, we will take it out here in Clinton. It would fit in nicely with the Clinton-Byram corridor project. Now before you say it is a silly idea to move a city zoo outside of said city it is named after, go take a look at the history of the Nashville Zoo. They moved theirs and it is not even in the same county as the city is in. Maybe we need to take a look at the way they did it. After all, they are the ones that got our elephants.

Anonymous said...

As someone who has two small children, I would LOVE it if we had a zoo worth going to. I would totally be willing to buy a yearly pass if we had a zoo that was worth it.

I wouldn't feel safe taking my kids to the zoo during the week by myself now, though.

I have a friend whose kid went on a field trip to the zoo recently- was supposed to be from 9-1. They were back at school by 11. They said that there were so many overgrown weeds that you couldn't see anything on the train ride, and that the animals all looked sickly.

It's really sad that we don't have something nice like the Memphis or New Orleans zoo around here.

It seems like the leadership (of Jackson in general) has just been asleep at the wheel for the past decade. It's hard to blame one person for the decline, it's been years of no one wanting to step up and make decisions based on what is actually best for the city. The zoo, the crumbling infrastructure.... it's just been a long game of passing the buck.

And no, I don't live in Jackson but I work there and I don't hate it. I am scared to be there at night, but I genuinely do want to see Jackson get better.

Anonymous said...

This is ridiculous. I try to go to the zoo once a year. I never feel unsafe. Our little zoo is a gem and one of the few things in town worth seeing.

PittPanther said...

I'm confused. Did anyone in the previous posts about the zoo, argue that the routes to the zoo are not run down and disheveled? I think everyone agreed that Capitol St from 220 to the zoo is a disaster. Not sure why KF had to go on a video expedition to "prove" something we already know.

The issue always was "is the disaster that is Capitol St a reason to not go to the zoo, or a reason to move the zoo?" I still say "No," regardless of the video.

Kingfish said...

Yes, showing an unedited video of the surrounding area is slanted.

Bricklover's Dreamscape? said...

"....a bricklover's dreamscape." Please. God have mercy on the soul of the unfortunate, deluded, mush-headed youth who actually typed that on a keyboard.

September 8 @ 6:10 is one of the best posts I've ever read on this blogsite.

Giving a bath to and preening the feathers of the turkey who sits picking off the bees, one by one, is probably not the right curtain to choose.

Anonymous said...

Here is an idea - get the Governor and powers to be to change the proposed healthcare corridor originally planned from I-55 via Woodrow Wilson to I-220 to West Capitol Street to I-220.

Anonymous said...

My wife and I take our kids to th zoo and don't feel unsafe when we go. Obviously we aren't going in the afternoon either.

However, I do feel that the zoo should move to Lefleurs Bluff area. It would be a wonderful corridor for tourism with the two other museums right there plus the Sports Hall of Fame across Lakeland.

Anonymous said...

This video makes the most important point - even if you "improve" the zoo, it's doomed to long-term failure if people don't feel safe going there. I quit attending Zoo Blues years ago because driving that route, after dark, just felt too risky. Any woman driving there with kids, at any time of day, is nuts.

Anonymous said...

This video doesn't cover another huge hurdle at the current location. Every time I have been to the zoo it has been filled with hoodrats yelling curse words and screaming as they amble down the paths. I wouldn't take young children there even if it had a direct road to it paved with gold.

Anonymous said...

I think you are a racist. And people like you are holding black people down

exjxnres said...

Y'all were driving way too fast to see very good...but then, I understand why...!

Anonymous said...

Is the zoo a cultural or tourist attraction? What are the benefits? One can watch animal planet or public broadcasting (PBS) and gain knowledge of the wild. Why not turn this over to the Mississippi Development Authority, or at least collaborate with MDA, for a logical approach. I think the Lefluer property is too valuable for such endeavor. A more favorable location would be I-20 @ Robinson Road where the old East Ford truck center was located. Easy ingress/egress and a good view from the interstate. Other blighted property could also be obtained. People going to the Vicksburg, casinos would be prospects. (Aren't the casinos trying to inject a family atmosphere?) I understand Trustmark holds the property I mentioned as REO, or foreclosed. There are opportunities or creative ways to improve the zoo, if that is what people want. It should be attractive enough, and located where it will at least pay its own way however.

Anonymous said...

How the hell can you say a video that shows nothing but the drive to the Zoo is slanted? The other routes you mention are no better.

Ellis Avenue is littered with empty storefronts. Those that are aren't are occupied by pawn shops, payday loans, and quick check cashing. Lots of bars on the windows.

West Woodrow Wilson is a little better if you like vacant lots and cracker box houses. The golf course is a decent view right at the end, but then you have the lovely train tracks and junky buildings.

The analogy about the bees sounded really stupid at first, but it was actually a point well taken. Bees aren't as stupid as hat wearing city officials who find the Zoo to be in a "wonderful location".

Anonymous said...

what part of "financial triage" do u not understand? we r DEAD BROKE--which wud u rather have a sewer system or rhino? (NOT the one in the hat)

Anonymous said...

The zoo is not going to close, and the powers are going to appeal to emotions rather than rationalization or logic, therefore the solution is to find the best alternative. Money is no object to the politicos, so long as they can tax and spend, sewer system or not.

Anonymous said...

I grew up going to the zoo with my grandmother. She lived near by and is actually buried next to the zoo in the City Cemetary. There used to be a Krystal down there near the zoo. Cotton candy and the monkey island. This was the late 70s...early 80s. It was nice, safe, and fun.

I went to the zoo a few months back. A gang of thugs was ahead of me and my nephew. All I could smell was dope smoke coming from the group. All I could hear was the term "n word" being thrown about and other guttural sounds. It's not nice, safe, or fun.

Not only is the zoo no place for children...it's no place for the existing animals...it should be leveled...and the land given to some industry with the hope of creating some jobs.

Anonymous said...

time will tell--personally, I believe it's just a matter of time and how much pain can u stand? inevitable to me--we are NOT what we once were!! good and bad parts to that end.

Anonymous said...

Im very familiar with that area, used to drive from Clinton to downtown [work] via Clinton Blvd/West Capitol. One morning a derelict was standing on the curb pissing into the street, fully exposed. This was about 7:30 a.m. Falling in houses, closed restaurants [repeatedly armed robbery victims], whores, obvious drug dealers, trash piled up. Easiest, quickest route. Im in law enforcement, so I was armed, or I wouldn't have used the route.

Anonymous said...

Falling in houses, closed restaurants [repeatedly armed robbery victims], whores, obvious drug dealers, trash piled up. Easiest, quickest route. I'm in law enforcement, so I was armed, or I wouldn't have used the route.

"It's in a wonderful area."
Councilwoman Hyphen Hat-person

Anonymous said...

I agree with 3:46, up to a point. But, after leveling it, what industry will locate there? The Partnership, Leland and Chokwe combined could not GIVE that land away if they built a building, furnished a heicopter pad, built walking trails and planted fifty year old oaks on it. Bulldoze it and build a retirement home for retired city of Jackson and Hinds County officials' retirement home.

Anonymous said...

We need to pretend we're super-sensitive to the environment and declare that we're closing the zoo to show our solidarity with the poor zoo animals. That's what Costa Rica did, and liberals think they're the bomb now.

http://inhabitat.com/costa-rica-is-closing-its-zoos-and-freeing-all-captive-animals/

TotalZooSupporter said...

1- The zoo is not owned by the city
2- it does not cost $15 to get in to the zoo.
3- if there are people who are being rude/inappropriate, report them to security so they can be removed
4- if you want the pathways fixed, tell your city councilamn, as the land is leased by the city, and they are responsible for that type of infrastructure
5- any move would take years and much more money than people investing in the surrounding
6- this zoo is nearly 100 years old, and it takes time and lots of money to change exhibits from the old style to the full immersive exhibits that you see in big city zoos
7- the animals are well cared for by properly trained staff. just because an animal is lying down or sleeping does not mean it is sad or sickly.
8- if you want to help but can't donate, volunteer

Anonymous said...

I really don't understand what's so complicated here. If there had been a critical mass of people in Jackson who gave a shit about the zoo, it would not be in the shape it currently is. It's unfortunate, but true.

Anonymous said...

Confession: Watching Jackson crumble/implode is pretty satisfying, at this point. It hasn't been sad for a long time. it once was. Though it is unfortunate for those Jacksonians, and there are many, who are good people who are able and willing to try to save the city, improve things, etc.

But it is all now in the able hands of the inept, incompetent, and corrupt bush-league politicians like the Stokes clowns and, of course, the black separatist "Free the Land!" Chockwe. Of course, much more important than those figures is the fact that the majority of current Jacksonians thought it was a good idea to elect those clowns to represent them.

Jackson's demise is like a trainwreck in slow motion. I just shake my head in amazement that anyone would waste their time and energy trying to polish that particular turd. That zoo has been a pathetic, decrepit waste stuck in the middle of a ghetto shithole for over 30 years, which one of your elected officials (don't recall which) recently described as "a wonderful area". It will never improve or change, and there's nothing anyone can do about it. Check that, nothing any white person can do about it. Get over it!

Anonymous said...

"1- The zoo is not owned by the city"

Then why is Chuckie increase property taxes to bail the zoo out of the debt it has stupidly accumulated?

Anonymous said...

Why would I want to see this in high-resolution? One can only get so disgusted.

Anonymous said...

@ 5:38. Hello Shadowfax. We certainly have not missed you, but it seems that you have returned. I guess you have managed to go all this time without doing something like falling out of a window or putting a fork in an electrical socket out of curiosity. That means I lost my bet. How unfortunate.

There are good things happening in Jackson. I don't care enough to really argue with you about that subject further than telling you that you are simply wrong.

I will go ahead and tell you that your attitude (dripping with schadenfreude) has never been a benefit to society. The less people that listen to people like you, the better. Here's to hoping that no one takes you seriously.

As much as I disagree with some of the other Jackson residents making generalizations of people that live in the suburbs (such as saying that they are racist and hate the city of Jackson), I must point out that people like you elicit that reaction. People like you are a divisive force in society.

Stay fabulous, Shadowfax.

Anonymous said...

Hell, it's not just the 60 year old crowd that remembers the good times out there.
Quite a few of us 40 & 50 year old farts have fond memories of not only the zoo,
but also of West Jackson & South Jackson.

Yes our stuck-up Northeast Jackson selves would leave Maywood, CS's , the Dutch Bar, The Cherokee, Billy Neil's , Main Harbor, Tubby's Tavern ect. ect . just to drive to South Jxn and watch the necks
"cruise McDowel Road " .

Back on topic - close the Jackson Zoo and give the poor animals peace.

Anonymous said...

Maybe the zoo could build a hoodrat exhibit. A secure enclosure filled with dope smoking, government check cashing, low pants wearing thugs. The sign could say "These are the animals that destroyed Jackson". Jackson could solve two problems at once because they wouldn't have to build another jail to replace the one with the cell doors that don't lock.

Anonymous said...

I think a real problem not discussed here is the inability in our state to force those who own vacant and deteriorating buildings to either fix them or tear them down.
Put teeth in the law so the owners either act or the city/state has the power to come in and bulldoze the property and charge the owners the cost.
I expect those homeowners on the left,who rather obviously are trying to maintain their homes, would be the first to cheer. That a church denomination lets their property decay is particularly disgraceful to me and frankly, not Christian!
There are churches hundreds of years old all over the world that have been maintained for a REASON. If you didn't build a church for the glory of God, but for the glory of man and your physical comfort, you need to rethink your faith.

Anonymous said...

5:38 here. I am not Shadowfax and don't know who that is. I am just someone who grew up in Jackson, lived there many years, and then left in disgust. It has worsened significantly since I left 10 years ago. It will be significantly worse in 10 more years.

As for my attitude, I now live in a community with people who have values similar to mine. We get married, THEN have children (imagine that!). Along with caring for our kids, we maintain our houses and yards. We get up and go to work every day. Our community can't accurately be described as "vibrant," "hip," or "eclectic," but that's fine with us. You can have all of that, along with the Stokes clowns and their wonderful programs for Jackson's "yoots."

Anonymous said...

8:03 Every municipality already has the authority to enact regulations to do just that.

Keith C said...

My mother grew up on Capitol Street about one half mile east of the zoo. I used to visit my grandparents there way until my grandmother passed in 1985. Since then the area has turned to s**t. My grandparents' house eventually was burned then torn down. No houses remain on the block she grew up on. I remember well walking the three blocks to the Dairy Queen. Now you wouldn't dare walk anywhere because nothing is there.

Anonymous said...

Audubon Zoo is not in a bad area!

Anonymous said...

The zoo is up for re-affirmantion this week, so if this doesn't happen, all of these opinions are moot.

Anonymous said...

10:54 am, you aren't up on the law...no teeth in it.

Anonymous said...

Jackson Zoo just like Jackson. Swirling the crapper.

Anonymous said...

The zoo will get its accreditation, because the city is 70% black and the people accrediting will hold it to a lower (if any) standard. Then it'll be PARTY TIME on West Capitol, with free admission and all the Kush you can smoke.

Anonymous said...

6:31; whether or not a municipality 'puts teeth' in their laws or ignores them or half way enforces them or claims there's no money for enforcement (cutting grass or razing buildings), is beside the point. You suggested what we need in this state is the ability to have such laws. That's incorrect, teeth notwithstanding.

Anonymous said...

I'm a stay at home mom and really don't think the zoo is worth going to. Every time we went my poor daughter would ask "do they have an elephant? Where are the lions??" Literally every time we'd go the train was either "broken" or the only employee who knows how to operate it decided to not show up for work that day. And if we wanted to ride the merry-go-round we'd have to wander aimlessly around looking for someone to turn it on. It's a joke! And not to mention half the exhibits aren't occupied and are overgrown. The place looks abandoned. Oh, and my friend's car was broken into while they were there. I know someone else whose tag was stolen. If they can't even keep the parking lot safe there's no way I'm going back!

Anonymous said...

12:51 is correct for various reasons. It would be a nightmare.

Anonymous said...

For the zoo to be attractive it would have to be re-located and made an entertainment destination. The investment would possibly be greater than the return.

Anonymous said...

12:51 am I didn't say there were no laws, I'm saying the laws that exist make it nearly impossible to condemn and tear down abandoned buildings and favor the property owner to an unreasonable extent.

Anonymous said...

Dale Danks was mayor when I first moved here and took my children to the zoo.

The area surrounding the zoo looked run down then.

Some of the flooding in 1979 was from a lack of proper maintenance and poor planning.

I'm at a loss to understand why people think the city was better run in " the good old days" and imagine the problems that exist now aren't problems that were ignored then and allowed to get worse.

And, one point made in the video should be heeded. Whites will eventually be a minority in MS. Do all of you plan to leave?





Anonymous said...

7:44 - I already did. What are you waiting for?

Anonymous said...

Some of the flooding in 1979 was from a lack of proper maintenance and poor planning.

Tell us Einstein. How much? What areas of the city would have avoided flooding with proper maintenance and planning?



Recent Comments

Search Jackson Jambalaya

Subscribe to JJ's Youtube channel

Archives

Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
.