Friday, November 9, 2012

Senator Chris McDaniel on the election

State Senator Chris McDaniel (R-Jones) submitted this column discussing the election:

Not so long ago, it was a different time; we were a different people.

During the inauguration to his first term of office, Ronald Reagan declared, "In this present crisis, government is not the solution to our problem; government is the problem. From time to time we've been tempted to believe that society has become too complex to be managed by self-rule, that government by an elite group is superior to government for, by, and of the people. Well, if no one among us is capable of governing himself, then who among us has the capacity to govern someone else?"

It has been more than three decades, and yet many still remain indifferent to the profound truth behind his statement. Not only do most remain content in ignoring self-rule, our people have inched closer to realizing the creation of a nightmare scenario, a bourgeoning reality few have fought to alter – that politically speaking, our nation is lurching leftward toward socialism.

Naturally, some are distressed that we may have reached a national tipping point where a storied 51% of voters will forever guarantee a dependent populace demanding submission to big government. Because bureaucracy and liberty seldom coexist in the same sphere of influence, there exists a valid concern in conservative circles that our republic might be exchanging its birthright of liberty for the comforts, however delusory, of serfdom.

Alarm is justified, since generally speaking, Americans have always been independent and self-reliant. Whether realizing manifest destiny or defending our unalienable God given rights, there has always been a touch of nonconformity and rebellious independence in the American spirit. With painful lessons of revolution from Great Britain recollecting the abuses of monarchy, early patriots purposely fashioned a Constitution limiting the federal government’s authority to only delegated areas and dispersed public authority among three branches in the hope that each would resist unconstitutional aggression by the others.

It was their skepticism of government, not its embrace, which made them historically unique.

Building on their principle of self-rule, we have always understood the need for balance between freedom and order; and we built our hopes on a society based on individual liberty, free market economics and limited government. But now, citizens seemingly stand on the edge of a precipice, embracing and adoring the weight of federal authority in a fashion never envisioned by preceding generations.

Making matters worse, our politicians are guilty of encouraging the growth of government by demanding that it sustain and shelter us cradle-to-grave, while universally neglecting families, religious organizations, community charities and others that are better able to perform needed services. Producing a guardian society, they have abandoned historic precepts found in the Constitution, and "the people" have followed suit. Instead of encouraging independence, we have placed protectors in office who have suggested countless feel-good programs, using our desires of security to fuel their ambitious careers.

Whether the spirit-crushing consequences of Lyndon Johnson’s great society or President Obama's delivery of government funded nationalized healthcare, irresponsible power seekers have advanced their careers by promising a little more on this and a little more on that; and a sizeable minority of Americans are now dependent on the federal government for their income, education, retirement and other amenities of life. Programs that once were focused only on the impoverished now extend across a broad economic spectrum, even as the number of people paying taxes continues to decrease.

Not only does the present system counteract the individual fruits of our labor, a shift toward dependency has wreaked havoc on our national essence, as the people have once again elected a radical president, one whose positions are more analogous to socialism than to traditional Democratic thought.

President Obama promises government solutions and racially transcendent salvation. Some even believe that he will save us from ourselves, promoting him as the people’s chief protector. Yet by supporting "change" that forces more of our citizenry closer to government addiction, his proponents are protracting the recapture of liberty and the restoration of our constitutional system.

With his re-election pushing our republic closer to the tipping point, it would appear that "free" is more important than "freedom" to a self-entitled generation of Americans.

If you have any questions about this issue or any others, please feel free to contact me at cmcdaniel@senate.ms.gov or call me at 601-359-2220.

54 comments:

Anonymous said...

My thoughts exactly! Good article. This country has gone nuts.

Curt Crowley said...

Thank you, President Carter. You did everything but use the word "malaise.". Instead of blaming the voters for this election, you need to take a long look in the mirror. Republicans lost because Americans don't like the hard right social issue totalitarian bullshit coming from the party.

Romney didn't lose because Americans love socialism. He lost because Americans are scared of a government run by the radicals who have stolen the republican party. We used to be the Party of Lincoln, now we're the Party of Fraudwell and Robertson.

Do you really believe that you can spend 3 years waging war against women, and still win a national election. Really?

Goldwater warned us about letting these hard right religious nuts into the party. We didn't listen. This is the result.

Now run along and draft some more vagina probe fetal heartbeat bills, issue a press release about how students should begin each day with a word of prayer to Jesus and other nonsense that will energize the imbeciles that comprise your base.

Anonymous said...

Curt,

Everyone realizes you have your own cross to bear, but don't be so intellectually dishonest to project that cross into the election results.

Your assertions are devoid of rational afterthought. This election wasn't about the fringes, wasn't about abortion, wasn't about religion, wasn't about anything but personal responsibility. This nation, as a whole, has shed the notion of personal responsibility and has progressed further towards centralized management for all aspects of our lives.

Curt, you are worse because you can't think for yourself. "War on women?" Really? You are going to take a Democratic talking point that was taken up by the media as some sort or realist view of the campaigns and platforms of those that ran for offices?

Here's some logic for you to work through Crowley: if a person can be charged with murder for the killing of an unborn child when they also kill the mother of said unborn child, how does the mother's right to privacy override that underpinning of law substantiating that the unborn child is, indeed, a life. That is not a religious issue, that is a practical, logical and legal issue that you seem to casually overlook.

Roe v Wade was bad law. It was bad law because it did not decide the issue, but further clouded it. A women's right to privacy is extended no further than the right to life of an unborn child, otherwise you should be able to kill someone in your home and not worry with the murder charge because your right to privacy in your own home bears more weight than that person's right to life.

War on women, indeed. There needs to be a war on anti-logic and obfuscation, to which you seem to be a professional of.

Anonymous said...

Curt, your rambling nonsense is the most ignorant bullshit I've ever read. You must have had a hard day at the trailer park.

Anonymous said...

In the past one would mention to Curt that he sounds like a broken record.

reximus said...

It's hard to argue against Curt's point when you consider the fact that at times during the primary season whack jobs like Bachmann and Santorum were the front runners.

Anonymous said...

Senator McDaniel and Mr. Crowley are both effective writers. The America of today is not a Republic and yes it is tending towards socialism and totalitarianism. Empires are all about might and entertainment-- not liberty. The election means we are right back where we started, gridlock and political failure. If the Speaker and the President can play some cards or golf we might have reason to hope

Anonymous said...

Curt is right on. Leave your personal issues behind. He is right on.

Shadowfax said...

"The party of Lincoln", "War against Women". Has Crowley ever had an original thought? Throw in Obfusction and Roe v Wade and you've got Rickie Cole with a dictionary.

Anonymous said...

Serfdom? Letting these low-eds in this state have the right to vote produces state senator morons like this creep. Unbelievable.

Curt Crowley said...

3:19, your comment proves my point. Over half of your comment dealt with abortion. What you theocons don't understand is that abortion is NOT a conservative issue. Never has been, never will be. Even so, you nuts keep on harping on it. You are alienating large groups of voters by your insistence on debating something that has nothing to do with conservative values.

The problem with you thumpers being heavily involved in the Party is that you are convinced that God is on your side--that you are doing God's work. There is no debate, compromise or reasoning with people of that mindset. You will keep doing what you think Jesus wants you to do, even if it means losing every damn election from now until the pale green horse grazes upon the White House lawn.

Our entire political system is based on debate among people with differing opinions and reaching reasonable compromises. The vast majority of the American people do not want your uncompromising theology enacted as civil law.

And yes, this is why the Kenyan won. Americans are not blind to the shit you nuts pull in between presidential elections. If you doubt this, google "Andy Gipson abortion" or "andy gipson homosexuals."

As to the "war on women." I momentarily forgot that you evangelicals are trained from birth to accept everything literally, leaving no room for nuance or meaningful thought. As such, I should have explained that the phrase "war on women" was rhetorical. No, I do not believe that you dunderheads get up every day and ask "how can I hurt a female today?" It is merely a way of referencing the inordinate amount of time you folks spend trying to legislate upon issues that effect womens' health, and the fact that your legislation almost always attempts to remove treatment options from the patient. Legislation that, I might add, is opposed by a majority of women in the United States. So no, it's not really a war on women. It's just the repeated and continuous barrage of trash legislation designed to limit treatment options available to female patients, and to invade their privacy.

I don't think you evangelicals do this because you want to hurt women. You do it because God told you to. And who could argue with that?

Anonymous said...

I am a thumper but I understand that the Messiah never sought Earthly power. We Jesus folk lose our saltiness when we preach too much. Over and out.

Anonymous said...

Disingenuous, intellectually dishonest Curt,

The 3:19 comment dealt with abortion because it was it was responding to your comments about abortion, dumbass.

Anonymous said...

Curt,

Respond to the comments @ 3:19 re: taking a life through abortion is not a religious item but a legal one.

If you can be convicted for murder of an unborn child, how is abortion of that same unborn child not murder? How does the law reconcile this? What does religion have to do with this.

Yes, your comment re: "war on women" was rhetorical because you are intellectually dishonest with your stupid assertions about this election. You are projecting your own issues onto the election with items that were no part of the election.

"debate among people with differing opinions" but the vast majority don't want to hear from someone with a different opinion?

Hypocritical much? in the same paragraph, no less

Anonymous said...

You are projecting your own issues onto the election with items that were no part of the election.

Exactly. Curt obviously has issues.

Curt Crowley said...

10:07, this is like having a debate with a bunch of kids. Abortion is an issue that is so intertwined with religion that the two cannot be separated. You are 40 years too late to reframe the debate around "inconsistent laws" when it is clearly steeped in religion.

Crazy Roy and his pals aren't standing outside the clinic chanting and hurling insults in Jesus' name because they are offended that two laws appear inconsistent. They are there because their own warped version of Christianity compels their presence.

Do you really contend that the whole war on women (WARNING: RHETORICAL), wasn't the reason Republicans did so poorly among women voters? Do you truly believe that 56% of female voters supported the Kenyan because they want government cheese, and that the Republicans' poor record on womens' issues had nothing to do with it?

No one is that stupid. Not even an evangelical like you. Lose the spin. It's bullshit and you know it. Don't ya'll have some rule against bearing false witness?

Curt Crowley said...

"You are projecting your own issues onto the election with items that were no part of the election."

Abortion was "no part of the election," huh? That's not what Fox News says.

Count how many times Gretchen Carlson, Jeanine Pirro and Laura Ingraham say the words abortion and reproductive freedom in discussing why Romney got his butt whipped among single female voters.

You keep spreading the lie that I'm projecting my own issues and that it had nothing to do with the election. Pull your pious head out of your holy ass and look around. I'm not the only one saying it, you clown.

Anonymous said...

3:19/10:07 reproductive health was an issue. You can argue that it was not a legitimate issue or should not have been an issue or that the dems overplayed it. But it was an issue because single female voters made it an issue.

Crowley is not making anything up. Conservative talking heads have said as much. Lindsey Graham alluded to it too. The dems played up the "war on women" but we cannot deny the fact that republicans gave them all the material they needed to use it as a campaign slogan.

KaptKangaroo said...

I will say as I've said before abortion is the law of the land and should be left to patient, their immediate families and doctors. I do enjoy watching evangelicals whine about abortion in the name of the Jesus and in the same breathe gripe about welfare parents having too many kids. I have yet to see anyone in this group with a brood of adopted inner city kids that they have volunteered to adopt trailing behind them as they head to Sunday service.

This issue is not the issue of the GOP. It is an issue that the GOP leverages to get the evangelical vote. Do you know why they are pandered to? One simple reason, they vote. They vote based on emotional ties to an emotionally charged issue. Oh and they vote in droves too!

What they fail to understand, because of the emotional tie, are the majority issues of the GOP (see Akin).

I'm not sure how you fix this in the GOP. I'm almost to the point of abandoning it as a part of any future platform. Let them vote like independents. This party is being turned into a sideshow over issues related to abortion (see personhood).

Let the flogging begin.

bill said...

Abortion is not a religious issue any more than murder or theft is a religious issue. Does anyone think that we'd be rolling along in 2012 without any rules against killing each other if religion had never been developed? Maybe religious people are more vigilant about following the law, but right and wrong are inherent values that are present in any society, religious or not. Neither is abortion a health issue. Cancer and heart disease and sickle cell anemia are health issues. A young woman becomes pregnant. She's healthy and has no reason to believe that the baby won't also be healthy, but she wants to terminate the pregnancy because she's just not ready to have a baby. That's not a medical decision and it's not a religious decision - it's a practical one. The difference between how people like Curt believe can be summed up thusly: When is it okay to stop a life?

bill said...

I didn't mean to turn this into an abortion thread. Sorry...I think this election was won by the time worn practice of getting your voters to the polls. The Obama campaign did it, the Romney campaign didn't. Yes, it's easier to get your voters out when you have a candidate that excites and motivates them, but the Republicans left 300,000 at home in Ohio and lost by 100,000. We need to get an organization down to the block and precinct level if we want to win future Presidential elections. Bill Billingsley

Anonymous said...

I agree with Bill . And, the job of a candidate is to convince the majority that his positions are valid.
Bill and I have lived through many elections where our candidate didn't win.
We didn't see that as some reason for doom and gloom or to question our form of government or personally attack the winners, but rather as a challenge to make a better case for our position and come up with solutions to common problems.

Curt Crowley said...

Bill:

I never gave an opinion on whether abortion was right or wrong. I simply stated that it is not a conservative issue. Yet the nuts continue to try to make it one, resulting in 60+% of single female voters voting for the other side.

67% of single women voted for the Kenyan. That's a damn disgrace. The republican party should be ashamed.

Stick to true conservative issues and we will not have such lop-sided results.

Anonymous said...

60+% of single women who voted....

how many actual votes is that?

do you really think exit polls are that accurate?

polling 350 precincts across the country is really something you are willing to hang our opinionated hat on for what determined the election. issues so complex and regionally dependent?

KaptKangaroo said...

Completely OT, and purposely because we shouldn't be discussing abortion - it is not a political platform.

So, the current administration wants to "tax the rich" at a level of 200K-250K.

OK.

How about this, no Federal Government employee can make more than 200K single, or 250 married. Any savings will be pooled and applied to payment of debt.

President gets 400K. Why not just apply everything above the 250K including all family income.

If you want to live off the government, so be it. But do it knowing that it is public service not a free feed at the taxpayer trough.

Anonymous said...

If you want to live off the government, so be it. But do it knowing that it is public service not a free feed at the taxpayer trough.

Ruh roh......The Stokes Twins will not like this.

Anonymous said...

Sen. McDaniel rails against totalitarianism and socialism without talking about the creeping nature of both of them through WWI & II when big industry and big government had to unite to ironically defeat fascism. The Supreme Allied Commander and President warned of the union of state and industry. Freedom is a dear commodity in a surveillance society.

JamesFromJackso said...

Wow. Our national essence? Is that something we need deodorant for or is it a band that opened for Morris Day and the Time back in '91? Senator, Peggy Noonan called. She wants her thesaurus back.

KaptKangaroo said...

James you back? Why not finish out the thread from the other day?

Anonymous said...

Not that anybody associated with any of the so called "Main Stream Media" in this backwater state would ever have the courage or brains or creativity to write about this, but it is an interesting piece out from redstate.com today. Remember that Stuart Stevens, Romney's chief strategist, is a Mississippi native and close confidant of Haley Barbour's. In fact, after recruiting Austin Barbour's firm to help with the Mississippi primary back in March, Stevens made little Austin his right-hand assistant for the rest of the Romney campaign. Good 'ol Mississippi's 2 party system, the party of evil, and the party of stupid!

http://www.redstate.com/2012/11/09/campaign-sources-the-romney-campaign-was-a-consultant-con-job/

Anonymous said...

" If you want to live off the government, so be it. But do it knowing that it is public service not a free feed at the taxpayer trough.

Ruh roh......The Stokes Twins will not like this."

Or the Blackmons.... Or the Rankin or Desoto county school district admins.....

Anonymous said...

Gentlemen, you have overlooked that women believe that we should be able make our own moral and medical decisions without government interference.
And, some of us are old enough to remember what it was like when government did interfere and that the GOP was for abortion rights in the the 50s because it was a conservative position.
Bill, women would have been open to a rational discussion about limiting abortion further, but instead,the GOP aligned itself with those who are opposed to morning after pills , want to force raped 10 year olds to carry to term and think that women don't get pregnant unless they want to do so.
More than a few of us don't understand objecting to insuring contraception but don't object to insuring Viagra especially when you suggest that contraception is so woman can be more promiscious.
And, women, frankly, don't much like the hateful tone . We don't like the yelling,interrupting, name calling and jumping to the worst possible interpretations of everything as we are trying to teach our children to behave better than that.
The whole Kenyan Muslim stuff is just ignorant or paranoid and yet, instead of saying so in no uncertain terms, the GOP made excuses for The Donald et al.
"Personal responsibility" is a hard argument to make when you are behaving irresponsibly . It's a hard argument to make when you cannot discern between those who are unfortunate and those who deserve their troubles or between human mistakes and scandals.
It's hard to argue morality while one is bearing false witness for personal gain.
It's hard to fight against bullying in schools when bullying is being used as a political tactic.
And,as women we have had to spend alot of our lives compromising and negotiating to solve problems (especially over finances )and resolving conflicts in the family. We learn early we don't always get to have things our way all the time. We don't object if you go hunting or golfing instead of doing something practical for the family as long as sometimes we get to do what we enjoy. So, we don't understand why you can't sit down and negotiate acceptable agreements with the other political party.
We don't understand why you let Norquist make ultimatums, but let us know mighty quick that ultimatums are bad and threaten your manhood if your wives issue them. If that would make us a bitch, why isn't he an ass?
Women get called gossips and busybodies when they are tending to the personal business of others and assuming the worst. But, you men seem to call it politics.

Anonymous said...

Chew on this, boys:

I'm a Christian, wife, mother, pro-life Republican. In that order.

The Republican Party will never win another national election unless it lets go of the moral/social issues and runs strictly on a fiscal platform. LET IT GO. Fight the good fight in the pulpits, at the water cooler, over dinner. Convert folks because of your actions, not through legislation. Whatever you do, just please let it go. The next generation coming up is much more liberal socially. You must prepare for that. We will continue to be marginalized if the abortion/gay rights mantra is our defining issue.

Anonymous said...

The Mississippi invention of Reagan style politics has come full circle. The conservative impulse is to hold on to money and power not the expansion of it. The Barbours did well with party decline and retrenchment, but I don't see them as party builders.

Shadowfax said...

Question: Who is crazier ~ Crazy Roy or Crazy Curt?

Observation: Simply because Kangaroot has not seen 'Christians with a brood of adopted kids trailing along to church' (or something like that) by no means suggests Christians don't adopt onr or more disadvantaged children? But I'm not surprised to see him lay out that analogy. Typically, those of us who adopt, sponsor or contribute to the development of 'the unfortunate' don't go around posting about the fact or pinning signs on our shirts to that effect, so Kangaroot or society can acknowledge it.

Anonymous said...

The modern Republican inventors like Viguerie are mad about the failure of the party to nominate from among the Christian Right or the fire Eaters, but they have a contradiction themselves in preaching Liberty and policing morals.

Anonymous said...

All hail shadow!

Anonymous said...

6:22 pm Since there are more people in the pro-life movement than people adopting children ( especially hard to place children), the challenge is a legitmate one.

833 children are waiting to be adopted in MS.

Given the strength of the pro-life movement here, there should be none.

I am willing to assume all those who do adopt are filled are good people and they may all be Christians and pro-life.

But, the point that those who are strongly pro-life should make sure unwanted children have good homes, is a valid one...not just in our state but every state.

I do accept many are opposed to abortion because there are fewer white infants available since Roe v Wade and they wish to adopt and don't like there is a long wait and high standards. And, I'm certain every single person who comes in wanting to adopt a child is urged to consider an older or " hard to place" child.

Anonymous said...

Shadowdunce Curt is far from crazy. He is saying what a lot of us have been thinking for a long time. The warmed over moral majority is an embarrassment to the republican party. I for one want to cringe when people like santorum, Bachmann and company speak. They make us look so stupid. The morals crowd is courting low-IQ voters. So if their message resonates with you Shadowfax.....

Anonymous said...

This is a classic. Grown people that have an imaginary friend who they talk to and give money to and who they believe controls the universe are calling other people crazy. LMAO.

Keep it sane, batshits!

Anonymous said...

Romney didn't lose because of moral issues.

Anonymous said...

"But, the point that those who are strongly pro-life should make sure unwanted children have good homes, is a valid one...not just in our state but every state.

I do accept many are opposed to abortion because there are fewer white infants available since Roe v Wade"

Ah, the racism charge finally makes its apparently mandatory appearance.

FOR THE RECORD: Most people I know are against abortion in most circumstances. I do not know a single person who is against abortion for whites but supports it for blacks. No one.

As for the first point, many of us limit our families to a number we feel we can support adequately, including planned expenses for things like college. Adopting an additional child or children would necessarily decrease the amount of time, attention and financial resources we have for our own children. The cold, hard reality is that I value my own children more than "the children".

Anonymous said...

November 12, 2012 9:31 AM

Who are you talking to? Yourself?

SMH

Anonymous said...

9:37 nailed it.

Anonymous said...

9:38 thank you for admitting that you are anti choice but are too selfish to pitch in to help with the unwanted children that result.

Anonymous said...

No, 6:53, 9:37 (not 9:38) has it right. Fight the fight from the pulpit, not the political podium. You can't win the fight from the political podium. Period. End of story. The only "political" way to win that battle is, maybe, though a change in the Supreme Court. The sooner Rs wake up and smell the coffee on this issue, the better. But as Curt aptly pointed out, they won't because they believe they have God on their side. They should learn to fight it other ways.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Curt, but won't be as eloquent.

The Republican Party needs to embrace the philosophy of Country Club Republicans: fiscal conservatism, moderate views on social issues, and liberal views on Madras pants.

Shadowfax said...

The reason I suggest Curt is 'crazy' (at least as crazy as Crazy Roy) is that he has to lace every opinion with his underlying current of athiesm. It's fine that he's an athiest; I just find it unnecessary for him to entertwine his notion of the non-God with every opinion, however eloquent, in order to impress himself.

And 8:58, you can save your haughty and preachy 'republican party' slams for somebody who adheres to their principles exclusively. I have nothing for Santorum or Bachman, or for that matter, Palin or Cain. I found them collectively embarrassing. Hope that resonates with YOU.

Anonymous said...

9:38 am, I respect that you limit your family to the children you can afford.

Did you miss that the extreme pro-life group's position on life beginning at conception means you can't do that? Don't you understand how birth control works? Don't you know the percentages of effectiveness of different forms of birth control and the way the most effective works is by preventing the fertilized egg from attaching to the uterus?

And,there is a reason there are neo-Nazis involved in the pro-life movment. In protests in Jackson, the Nazi and Aryan tats were plain to see. Did you miss the backgrounds of those touting the Parenthood Admendment?

Racism was introduced into this argument decades ago. You really should read more about the history of both abortion and the pro-life movement.

Anonymous said...

Agree with Shadow's first para @ 5:21 AM. Crowley's extremism tips that there is much more at play behind his vitriol.

Anonymous said...

The republicans love to scream about personal responsiblity and declare intrustion by the government as socialism or a lack of freedom. But these same people seek protections for the chosen few, beit doctors who seek legislative protection from their own negligence (doesn't sound like personal responsibility to me) or special tax breaks. When it's their government, they love it, but when not, it's socialism.

Curt Crowley said...

Shadowfax your ignorance of the meaning of common words is astounding.

Atheism is the belief that no God exists. That is not my position, and I have said nothing of the sort.

My position simply is that your religion has no place in my Government. That's not atheism, dumbass.

Curt Crowley said...

8:55am, you are just as big a dunce as Shadowfax. There is nothing extreme about saying that your religious doctrine has no place in my civil law.

If you find this position extreme, then I submit that you are so heavenly minded, you ain't no earthly good (h/t Jerry Clower).

KaptKangaroo said...

Religion is best left to snake charmers and arms salesmen in this discussion.

The fact of the matter is: evangelicals attempted, under Bush, while growing under Clinton, to usurp the political majority and as a result many issues that were "politically" convenient with these "swing voters" were driven by social evangelical issues, not freedom of thought, pursuit, or belief.

The natural cycle of this "revolution" (or in my mind another turning of the wheel) is that it has fallen out of fashion as a wedge issue in politics.

Curt, Kudos to You.

My faith is in tact, my politics are more empowered, and my watching the fringe cringing is affirming.



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In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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