Monday, January 10, 2011

"Chinese mothers are superior"

I know, most of you will think of the author as being too harsh. A Chinese mother and Yale Law School professor, she doles out some stinging criticism to American mothers in the Wall Street Journal:

"A lot of people wonder how Chinese parents raise such stereotypically successful kids. They wonder what these parents do to produce so many math whizzes and music prodigies, what it's like inside the family, and whether they could do it too. Well, I can tell them, because I've done it. Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin...

Think she's tough? You haven't seen anything yet. Read the rest of her essay.

24 comments:

Mark Geoffriau said...

This falls into the range of subjects I find interesting in an essay-length piece, and tiresome as a book.

That said...if anyone wants to read more, we (Lemuria Books) have Amy Chua's book "The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother" from which this essay was excerpted.

Ironghost said...

So by not forcing my kids to live in a concentration camp for the first 18 years of their lives, my kids won't have a nervous breakdown by the time they're in their mid-20's. They'll also be successful.

Anonymous said...

No, I don't think she is being tough.

Is there a point you are trying to make Kingfish?

Kingfish said...

Nope.

Although let me see Iron, as opposed to slacking through high school with B's and C's, then doing the 5-6 year college program and partying and at 25, clueless, no skills, and a worthless degree in Marketing obtained with a C average. Oh, and she's 25 and is considered a kid and acts like one.

Anonymous said...

Is there some data that correlates a higher occurrence of nervous breakdowns amongst Chinese in their mid-20s than the norm?

Kingfish said...

Dunno but I bet you don't see them on prozac, zanex, ritalin, ambien, adderoll, etc.

Anonymous said...

What was Mao's wife's name? Dragon Lady? This woman sounds like a nightmare.

Anonymous said...

Don't jump too quickly to those conclusions.

The increasing pressure to do well in every class, balance a full plate of extracurricular activities, and maintain a high grade point average is often described as succumbing to the “Model Minority Myth” of APA students being overall high achievers. Dr. Tsuang believes that the Model Minority Myth is simply that: a myth. Nevertheless, he acknowledges that APA students do face pressure in school that can cause many to look for alternate routes to success.

“I think the academic pressure to succeed sometimes will pressure some of the use of psychostimulants that’s not prescribed to them [APA students],” he said.

Anonymous said...

Bla Bla Bla Bla Bla. Mom said Chinese mother hug children to tight and cause brain damage!

Anonymous said...

do follow up in 5 years. i predict success for both kids.

Ironghost said...

Right, Fish. There's plenty of middle ground between concentration camp and "hands off". Plenty of kids get good grades and succeed fine without the need for prozac or therapy or court interventions.

It's not either/Or.

Anonymous said...

The suicide rate in Korea, Japan, and China is astronomical compared to ours. I would also suggest those countries produce" conformist followers" and few entrepeneurs.

That we have expectations that are too low, that we are too indulgent, and don't value education enough, resonates with me.

There's a middle ground here.

Anonymous said...

Obviously the Frazier's mom wasn't a "Chinese Mother"

Anonymous said...

I say that on Patrica Heaton's twitter. Read it still not sure what it all means.

Anonymous said...

Looks to me like Oregon is superior. Auburn is running around confused.

Ironghost said...

I know MDOT will have to struggle on without Butch, now. ;)

Anonymous said...

Momma said boy who run from car eventually get tired?

Anonymous said...

Momma said cows must be fed hey in the morning.

Anonymous said...

My best friend in high school was (and still is) Chinese. Her parents set high standards for her and her brother. Both kids were very smart and it wasn't a struggle to meet those expectations.

But both of them also had social lives. She went to sleepovers, dated, went to prom, etc. She and I went on small road trips often and had a great time (we weren't partiers).

Her parents taught her and her brother organization and study techniques when they were younger, techniques that both knew how to apply when they got older. But mom and dad didn't order every minute of every day. Both kids' wishes were considered. When my friend wanted to stop pursuing music and take up debate, her parents were fine with it.

My friend is happily married with two great kids and an amazing career in medicine. She is as well-adjusted as anyone I know and I am thrilled to still have her as a close friend.

Her parents set high expectations but they weren't tyrants. They balanced their kids' intellectual development and academic success with each child's individual desires and the fun that comes with just being a kid.

I would put THAT style of parenting above the "Chinese mother's" strait-jacket philosophy any day of the week.

Anonymous said...

Why on earth would any parent put any creedence into this woman's child rearing philosophy??

Since when does a Chinese woman tell you how to raise a child? If you are that lame to take this crap seriously, you don't need to be raising children in the first place.

Anonymous said...

Interesting so many people have there feathers so ruffled over this one perspective in one article.

Anonymous said...

he who jump turnstile is going to Bangkok.

stilettoGOP said...

Dear People With a Sense of Humor,

Came across this today (I admit, while reading some celebrity smut) and couldn't resist. Apparently, Asian fathers have high expectations, too.

http://pophangover.com/2010/10/02/best-of-the-high-expectations-asian-father-meme/

Anonymous said...

Someone knows how to make a dollar.



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