Sunday, September 2, 2007

Little Story on How Some MSU Punks acted at the LSU Game

http://www.tigerdroppings.com/rant/messagetopic.asp?p=5312286

Written by LSU fan:
Ok here goes...I apologize for writing a freaking book.

It was as ugly as I have ever seen it.

My LSU buddy from Flowood, Mississippi invites me to sit with his group at the game. He's in the MSU section ,seventh row, 40 yard line and I have upper deck tickets in the LSU section, so I take him up on his offer. The group is a mixture of ten people with loyalties to both schools. I was with an employee and my business partner.

On the way in, we get a random beer poured on us for no reason which lands on an MSU fan in our party. This guy doesn't play (he is sixty as well) and rushes the twenty year old punk. I'm a Tiger fan, I think it's classless but I've seen worse. Nothing is gonna ruin my day and I just keep smiling and enjoying the festivities...

Until we get to our seats. At that point three eighteen year old totally wasted punks take the seat behind us and frothily scream "F You". Not "F LSU" but FU. They are in our personal space. We ask them to stop. We plead with them to stop. They say "You are in OUR house MFer". My biz partner, who is a big guy and the guy who gave us the tickets (five years out of minor league ball) are trembling with rage. There are ten of us and three of them and they WON't stop.

All of a sudden, my biz partner just snaps, grabs the kid who is the biggest prick by the neck and tells him he is gonna die. He shoves him down three rows and starts pounding him. My buddy is forty and twice this punks size. Pushing/shoving ensues. It goes on for a full ten minutes. No cops, no ushers, nothing. We struggle to maintain composure as we don't want to get thrown out of the game. The kids lick their wounds and leave.

Ten minutes later they are back with a couple more punks. These guy are less articulate than Kevin Federline on a meth binge. The crap resumes. They are one/two rows above us raining down an ENDLESS BARRAGE of profanities. We point out two children three rows down and they respond with "F you Mfer and F you you little LSU freaks" to the kids.

This is going on for two full quarters. Then the kid makes the fatal mistake. He throws a bottle(!) that hits an LSU fan below us.

As I turn, the other kid tosses a bottle as well. As we turn to rush two of the kids this big BEAR of a guy in an MSU shirt lumbers up the rows and just DESTROYS this one punk. We hammer the other two. Everybody who put up with this crap for two quarters took the opportunity to run over and get a shot in. The cops come, by this time these guys are shirtless and bloody and still screaming. The cops haul them off in choke holds and arrest em. The whole section (overwhelmingly MSU) cheers.

These punks were a special breed of redneck I had never seen before. True sociopaths.

Throughout the entire hour + that this happened we had maybe two dozen MSu fans apologize to us, but a cop never came. We waved them down and they just ignored us. And these punks wouldn't stop screaming profanities AT us. Not near us, but AT us. From ONE/two rows back.

We should have jumped them en masse at the beginning. Giving ONE guy an ass-whipping instead of all of em just emboldened them. And we didn't want to end up explaining to our kids why we were in Jail in Stark Vegas. Big mistake. Some people just need an ass-whipping.

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Trollfest '09

Trollfest '07 was such a success that Jackson Jambalaya will once again host Trollfest '09. Catch this great event which will leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Othor Cain and his band, The Black Power Structure headline the night while Sonjay Poontang returns for an encore performance. Former Frank Melton bodyguard Marcus Wright makes his premier appearance at Trollfest singing "I'm a Sweet Transvestite" from "The Rocky Horror Picture Show." Kamikaze will sing his new hit, “How I sold out to da Man.” Robbie Bell again performs: “Mamas, don't let your babies grow up to be Bells” and “Any friend of Ed Peters is a friend of mine”. After the show, Ms. Bell will autograph copies of her mug shot photos. In a salute to “Dancing with the Stars”, Ms. Bell and Hinds County District Attorney Robert Smith will dance the Wango Tango.

Wrestling returns, except this time it will be a Battle Royal with Othor Cain, Ben Allen, Kim Wade, Haley Fisackerly, Alan Lange, and “Big Cat” Donna Ladd all in the ring at the same time. The Battle Royal will be in a steel cage, no time limit, no referee, and the losers must leave town. Marshand Crisler will be the honorary referee (as it gives him a title without actually having to do anything).


Meet KIM Waaaaaade at the Entergy Tent. For five pesos, Kim will sell you a chance to win a deed to a crack house on Ridgeway Street stuffed in the Howard Industries pinata. Don't worry if the pinata is beaten to shreds, as Mr. Wade has Jose, Emmanuel, and Carlos, all illegal immigrants, available as replacements for the it. Upon leaving the Entergy tent, fig leaves will be available in case Entergy literally takes everything you have as part of its Trollfest ticket price adjustment charge.

Donna Ladd of The Jackson Free Press will give several classes on learning how to write. Smearing, writing without factchecking, and reporting only one side of a story will be covered. A donation to pay their taxes will be accepted and she will be signing copies of their former federal tax liens. Ms. Ladd will give a dramatic reading of her two award-winning essays (They received The Jackson Free Press "Best Of" awards.) "Why everything is always about me" and "Why I cover murders better than anyone else in Jackson".

In the spirit of helping those who are less fortunate, Trollfest '09 adopts a cause for which a portion of the proceeds and donations will be donated: Keeping Frank Melton in his home. The “Keep Frank Melton From Being Homeless” booth will sell chances for five dollars to pin the tail on the jackass. John Reeves has graciously volunteered to be the jackass for this honorable excursion into saving Frank's ass. What's an ass between two friends after all? If Mr. Reeves is unable to um, perform, Speaker Billy McCoy has also volunteered as when the word “jackass” was mentioned he immediately ran as fast as he could to sign up.


In order to help clean up the legal profession, Adam Kilgore of the Mississippi Bar will be giving away free, round-trip plane tickets to the North Pole where they keep their bar complaint forms (which are NOT available online). If you don't want to go to the North Pole, you can enjoy Brant Brantley's (of the Mississippi Commission on Judicial Performance) free guided tours of the quicksand field over by High Street where all complaints against judges disappear. If for some reason you are unable to control yourself, never fear; Judge Houston Patton will operate his jail where no lawyers are needed or allowed as you just sit there for minutes... hours.... months...years until he decides he is tired of you sitting in his jail. Do not think Judge Patton is a bad judge however as he plans to serve free Mad Dog 20/20 to all inmates.

Trollfest '09 is a pet-friendly event as well. Feel free to bring your dog with you and do not worry if your pet gets hungry, as employees of the Jackson Zoo will be on hand to provide some of their animals as food when it gets to be feeding time for your little loved one.

Relax at the Fox News Tent. Since there are only three blonde reporters in Jackson (being blonde is a requirement for working at Fox News), Megan and Kathryn from WAPT and Wendy from WLBT will be on loan to Fox. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both and a torn-up Obama yard sign will entitle you to free drinks served by Megan, Wendy, and Kathryn. Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required. Just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '09 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.


Note: Security provided by INS.

Trollfest '07

Jackson Jambalaya is the home of Trollfest '07. Catch this great event which promises to leave NE Jackson & Fondren in flames. Sonjay Poontang and his band headline the night with a special steel cage, no time limit "loser must leave town" bout between Alan Lange and "Big Cat"Donna Ladd following afterwards. Kamikaze will perform his new song F*** Bush, he's still a _____. Did I mention there was no referee? Dr. Heddy Matthias and Lori Gregory will face off in the undercard dueling with dangling participles and other um, devices. Robbie Bell will perform Her two latest songs: My Best Friends are in the Media and Mama's, Don't Let Your Babies Grow up to be George Bell. Sid Salter of The Clarion-Ledger will host "Pin the Tail on the Trial Lawyer", sponsored by State Farm.

There will be a hugging booth where in exchange for your young son, Frank Melton will give you a loooong hug. Trollfest will have a dunking booth where Muhammed the terrorist will curse you to Allah as you try to hit a target that will drop him into a vat of pig grease. However, in the true spirit of Separate But Equal, Don Imus and someone from NE Jackson will also sit in the dunking booth for an equal amount of time. Tom Head will give a reading for two hours on why he can't figure out who the hell he is. Cliff Cargill will give lessons with his .80 caliber desert eagle, using Frank Melton photos as targets. Tackleberry will be on hand for an autograph session. KIM Waaaaaade will be passing out free titles and deeds to crackhouses formerly owned by The Wood Street Players.

If you get tired come relax at the Fox News Tent. To gain admittance to the VIP section, bring either your Republican Party ID card or a Rebel Flag. Bringing both will entitle you to free drinks.Get your tickets now. Since this is an event for trolls, no ID is required, just bring the hate. Bring the family, Trollfest '07 is for EVERYONE!!!

This is definitely a Beaver production.

Note: Security provided by INS
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